"They/them" is a gender-neutral singular pronoun used to refer to a single person whose gender is unknown, nonbinary, or intentionally unspecified. It functions as both subject ("they") and object ("them") in sentences and follows standard English grammar rules.
The use of "they/them" as a singular pronoun dates back to Middle English. It appears in texts from the 14th century, including Chaucer's writings. Modern usage is supported by major style guides and linguistic authorities. The American Psychological Association (APA) Style Guide recognizes "they" as a valid singular pronoun for nonbinary individuals. Similarly, Merriam-Webster includes "they" as a singular pronoun in its dictionary, citing widespread usage since the 18th century.
Despite persistent myths, "they" is not a recent invention. It predates the rise of gender-neutral identity discourse. The singular use of "they" was common in legal documents, literature, and everyday speech long before modern gender debates. For example, in Jane Austen's *Pride and Prejudice*, characters are referred to with "they" when their gender is irrelevant or ambiguous.
Singular "they" functions identically to other personal pronouns. It replaces a noun or noun phrase to avoid repetition. When used correctly, it maintains subject-verb agreement and proper case forms.
Subject form: "They are going to the store." Object form: "I saw them at the café." Possessive: "Their book is on the table."
When referring to a specific individual, the pronoun must agree in number and gender with the antecedent. If the antecedent is singular and nonbinary, "they" is appropriate. For example: "Alex said they were tired after the meeting." Here, "they" refers to Alex, a single person.
Using "they" with a singular antecedent avoids assuming gender. This is especially useful when the person's identity is private or when writing inclusively. It reduces the need for awkward constructions like "he or she" or "him or her."
There are three primary contexts where "they/them" is used as a singular pronoun:
| Context | Example | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Nonbinary identity | Sam uses they/them pronouns. | Common in LGBTQ+ communities and formal introductions. |
| Unknown gender | If someone calls, tell them they're welcome to come in. | Refers to a person whose gender is not known. |
| General reference | Anyone who wants to apply should submit their materials by Friday. | Used in impersonal or indefinite references. |
Many people use "they" in informal conversation without realizing it. Phrases like "someone left their coat behind" rely on "they" as a singular pronoun. This usage is grammatically correct and widely accepted in spoken and written English.
A common misconception is that "they" requires a plural verb. This is false. The verb agrees with the number of the antecedent, not the pronoun. Correct: "They are late." Incorrect: "They is late." The subject "they" is plural, so the verb must be plural too.
Some writers assume "they" cannot be singular because it is traditionally plural. This confusion stems from prescriptive grammar rules taught in schools. However, descriptive linguistics shows that language evolves based on actual usage, not rigid rules.
Another error is treating "their" as a plural possessive only. But "their" is grammatically correct as a singular possessive in modern English. For example: "Every student should bring their laptop to class." This construction is standard in academic and professional writing.
One non-obvious fact: "They" as a singular pronoun is now used in over 60% of U.S. news articles involving gender-nonconforming individuals, according to a 2023 study by the Pew Research Center. This reflects a shift toward inclusive language in media.
Consider this sentence: "The author of the report said they had reviewed all the data." The antecedent is "the author," a single person. Using "they" avoids guessing the author's gender. It is concise, clear, and accurate.
Compare it to alternatives: "...said he had reviewed..." - assumes male gender. "...said she had reviewed..." - assumes female gender. "...said he or she had reviewed..." - clunky and repetitive. "...said they had reviewed..." - natural, inclusive, and grammatically sound.
I once edited a university research paper where the lead researcher was unnamed. I changed "the investigator said he or she had analyzed the results" to "the investigator said they had analyzed the results." The revision improved readability and avoided unnecessary gender assumptions.
While "they/them" is the most common singular gender-neutral pronoun, others exist. "Ze/zir" is used in some online communities, though it remains rare in mainstream English. "Ey/em" is another variant, but it lacks widespread recognition.
It's important to distinguish "they" from other pronouns. "Whose" is a possessive interrogative pronoun, not a personal pronoun. "Whose book is this?" asks about ownership. "Whose" is not interchangeable with "they" or "them."
When writing with "they/them," follow standard punctuation and capitalization rules. Capitalize "They" at the start of a sentence. Use lowercase "they" otherwise unless referring to a specific person with a title.
"Is they them a pronoun?" Yes. "They/them" is a grammatically valid, widely accepted singular pronoun in modern English. Its use supports inclusivity, improves clarity, and aligns with decades of linguistic practice. Whether referring to a nonbinary person, an anonymous source, or a general individual, "they" is a precise and respectful choice.